“The Zoodiac Killer” – The A.P. Miller Method of Busting Writer’s Block

Twitter has a fantastic writing community, and one of the most frequent questions asked among writers is: how do you break up writer’s block. My answer is simple. It’s a writing prompt meant to open the creative centers of my brain — that prompt:

A giraffe is testifying against a chimpanzee in a court of law for the murder of a gazelle — the giraffe accidentally confesses to the murder. Why was the giraffe trying to frame the chimpanzee and where there accomplices?

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Satire: Hyper Realistic Rules For Monopoly!

[DISCLAIMER]: This blog was written in jest, intended for laughs. I am not implying or alluding to any accusations that anyone who is involved in real estate or plays Monopoly is uncouth — the entire point of this post is the make the labors of playing the end game of Monopoly even worse. Monopoly is a trademark of Parker Brothers, no copyright infringement is intended.

Who doesn’t love Monopoly? The people who hate it, that’s who. Monopoly is quite possibly the single biggest rift in the American family dynamic since the Mistress. You sit around a board, hoping to have a quiet evening of family fun, and that all heads straight for the toilet and usually ends in a capitalist bloodbath that leaves people not speaking to each other for days on end.

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Rules For Interacting With My Dog

This is my dog — her name is Princess Alice Gertrude McBeal Miller, the 4th, Duchess of Dog. You may call her Princess, Alice, Her Royal Highness, and if you’ve earned extra special favor from the royal family, you may call her Gert. I wouldn’t hold my breath for that last one, I’ll warn you.

Since every good looking party boy who works at the groomers thinks that its okay to play grab-ass with my little girl, I have to put away Fun-Loving-Author-Of-Books, A.P. Miller away, and break out Mr. Miller. Mr. Miller is exactly what you think of him as; Mr. Miller wants to argue with the store manager over expired coupons, Mr. Miller wants a free stay at a hotel because there were only two towels (and not three), and Mr. Miller has strong opinions about how the youth these days doesn’t work as hard as his generation. I don’t like being that guy, but when guy smiley is walking out of the grooming area with an arm full of the world’s most beautiful dog, looking pleased with himself that he got to hold her in his arms, then my hand has been forced.

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I Love Radio, and I Think You Should Too

I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this story; when I decided to leave Pennsylvania and move to Wilmington, North Carolina, I’d never seen the city before. I had it on good faith that the city was beautiful, that there were a lot of reasons why I should go live there, but I’d never seen it for myself. I packed all of my things, loaded a UHaul full of all the life I could carry, and at three in the morning, I left the Keystone State with no intention of ever carrying a Pennsylvania Driver’s License again in my life.

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My Summer Reading Challenge!

I have resolved to undertaking a reading challenge this Summer — it’s a challenge that I have designed myself, and with any luck, will broaden my literary exposure spectrum. If you’d like to participate, I’d love to have a support system and encouragement as I go along.

The challenge is to read 15 books this Summer, an ambitious pace to a lot of folks, myself included. The rules are simple: only one book can satisfy one category. I’m going for diversity and a broad spectrum of books.

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