Let it be known: I love Jean Claude Van Damme movies and I don’t give a rats ass who knows it! I have seen everything from “No Retreat, No Surrender” to Direct to DVD Universal Soldier sequels, and they are all amazing. In fact, I have seen so many Jean Claude Van Damme movies, that I have identified a pattern, a formula for action movie greatness that took Jean Claude Van Damme from being a skinny kid from Belgium to the Greatest Action Movie Star Ever!*
*I’m not going to get into an argument with you. Chuck Norris is okay, Bruce Lee was alright, and Steven Seagal was a flash in the pan.
Continue reading “The Van Damme Code”
If you and I went to high school together, I’m curious how you remember me. In my head, I remember being shy and anxious, but also willing to go on the offensive with my opinion. I remember hating being told what to do (by anyone), but also feeling compelled to be polite to people. That’s an interesting conundrum, isn’t it? “Look at him, he’s raging against the machine, but he’s so damn polite about it.” Continue reading “These Are a Few of My Favorite Things”
Time travel is one of my favorite fictitious plot devices. The concept is practically the cheapest way of getting yourself out of a plot jam — “Oh crud, how does the hero get out of this predicament that I’ve written myself into? I’ve got it! He travels back in time and saves himself!” The tawdriness of it aside, I can thank one Mr. Herbert George Wells for introducing the literary device into the public consciousness. H.G. Wells wrote such prototypical novels as “War of the Worlds” and “The Time Machine.” Continue reading “Explaining 2018 to H.G. Wells”