Since releasing “Broken Promise Records,” I can tell you that I have found a real sincere enjoyment in the writing process. More than that, I have found a sincere enjoyment in the community that has supported my writing — I feel like I say that a lot, but that’s because I don’t want anyone to ever get the impression that I am taking their time, energy, and support for granted. That’s why I keep saying, and will continue to say, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
As the days and weeks progress and I am working towards other writing milestones, I keep thinking of ways that I can connect with all of you on a more personal level. I feel that having you know my ambitions and origins is the best possible way for you to really know where my writing is coming from. To that end, I am dedicating this week’s blog to things that I want you to know about me!
No. 1: I am grateful for any and all of the feedback that I have been receiving. One of the women that I respect more than most read “Broken Promise Records,” and I couldn’t have been more awestruck; I shouldn’t have been. This woman has always been a kind and supportive woman, always invested her knowledge and support into my endeavors, and it should not have surprised me in the least. She took the time to read it and sent me some exceptionally valuable critiques — then she apologized, thinking she had offended me. Let me be clear and forthright: if you have a suggestion as to how I can improve your reading experience, I am all ears!
No. 2: I didn’t always know that I wanted to be a writer. I didn’t discover that aptitude until I was in my thirties; I’d always had a knack for writing, but I put it to work for my other passions. When I was high school age, I wanted to be an artist. In business school, I wanted to own my own music business (either a label or a music store), in my twenties I wanted to be a real estate broker, and here I am. If I could impart any wisdom to anyone, it would be that its never too late to chase a passion or a talent — do what will make you happy!
No. 3: I’m not always confident. In fact, I doubt myself a lot. It’s why I have volumes of notebooks filled with ideas for novels and short stories, why I have thumb drives full of “chapter one”s and prologues. The upside to this issue is that I’ve been finding an abundance of confidence as each week goes by. The good news is that my attention and moods are cyclical, so those chapter ones will be getting chapter twos eventually.
No. 4: The humor that makes it to my writing and social media posts is done so with making you laugh in mind. I don’t think there is any greater joy on this planet for me than getting you to laugh. I’m talking side splitting, tears coming out of your eyes, “oh my God, I have to pee” laughter. Half of the crazy bullshit that comes out of my mouth, or from my keyboard, is designed to make you laugh or smile. I’m not entirely sure why — perhaps its a subconscious need to have people think of, or remember, me fondly. When I type something off the wall about my cats, or say something about how the government can’t take away my rights to wear Daisy Dukes, it is to get a smile out of you.
No. 5: Sometimes I feel like a fraud for not being more well read. My sister Betty, now there’s a reader. Mom always made sure that we had access to reading materials, we’d regularly go to the library, stop by the book stores at the mall. Mama used to collect the classics for me (in an abridged format for younger reads) and that’s where I learned my foundation. I chose to read more comic books and I devoured them. Had I known that I’d end up pursuing a career on the written page, I might have picked up more books than I did. Don’t get me wrong, I read a lot, just not as much as I feel I should have. I think part of me feels like you’d think less of me if you knew that I only discovered Albert Camus from a movie, or that I watched the movie versions before I read the books. Do you know what I mean? I feel like an authentic writer is appalled by how basic my taste in literature is.
No. 6: I firmly believe that 90’s Alt-Rock is the best genre of music, having no equal. I’m not trying to start an argument, but being my father’s son, I have the genetic gift of always being right. In all seriousness, it’s just emotionally endeared music to me and I hope you check it out if you don’t already.
No. 7: I am living with Attention Deficit Disorder. This one has complicated a lot of things for me — it has frustrated a lot of people who were directly responsible for my education or performance and bless them for sticking it out with me! When folks find out that I am medically diagnosed with the issue, I get a response of “Oh my! I just said how I have ADD, you must be so offended!” Not at all! The fact that you’re talking about it, as long as you are acknowledging that it is a serious affliction, is bringing notice and awareness to the issue. The stigma of the issue needs to go away — people should stop thinking of ADD/ADHD as a made up thing and know that it can cause serious adverse affects. I function; I have to manage myself very closely and I have to automate a lot of things (I thrive on routine, the more I can do on autopilot, the better!), but I work and create just like anyone else.
No. 8: I’m with you. Of all of the attributes that I’ve inherited from my mother, the most important was her big heart. Like my mother, I want to take the hurt away from the world. When you’re happy, I’m happy for you. When you’re down, I’m not thinking of anything else other than how to improve your situation. To that end, I’d have you know that I may never experience some a lot of the suffering or hardship that you have, but I still feel that you’re feeling and that sticks with me. In this era of history, my heart goes out to a lot of folks.
I will thank you, again, for joining me this week. Even if I didn’t have an audience to read my blog, I would still write it, because that was the work that I was given to do. What makes me feel extra special and honored is that you do read it — for that, I am grateful.
I’ll see you on your next trip across the Millerverse!
-A.P.
A.P. Miller 