[DISCLAIMER]: This piece is a satire, and the author is an idiot sometimes. Please don’t take any of this advice seriously — you would be better off trusting your retirement account to Bernie Madoff than listening to A.P.. Also, any similarities between any persons, or events, is purely coincidental. If you take issue with anything that’s said, maybe you should think twice about your shitty personality, and the way you treat other people. Maybe you have a guilty conscience. Asshole.
So, today should be my thirteenth wedding anniversary. I should be toasting to the thirteen years I put into keeping up my end of “till death do us part,” and I should be slipping my dog scraps without my doggymama seeing, and all would be well. Clearly, that’s not the way it’s actually happening. Instead of being bitter, I’ve decided to help other people who are going through similar issues, because I’m a giver.
Continue reading “Ask an Author (with A.P. Miller) – Volume 6: the Wedding Bells Edition”
[DISCLAIMER]: This blog is another writer focused one — we’ll return to our regularly scheduled buffoonery next week!
More often than not, when new writers become introduced to the Writers Community across several platforms, we feel compelled to offer them advice. We don’t do this because we feel superior or the need to be revered, but because we want them to be as successful as possible. The Writing Community isn’t perfect — there are ups, downs, triumphs, & trepidation, but ultimately we are passionate people who want to see other writers succeed. Often, writers will ask other writers what their advice is for new writers as an act of inclusions into the community. For this week’s blog, I wanted to share my advice that I’d give to new writers, maybe to create a statement that can be referenced later.
[DISCLAIMER]: My advice is not definitive, or no guarantee to be useful to you. Please consider the following to be an opinion and suggestion.
Continue reading “Advice For Beginning Writers”
[WARNING]: This blog is highly satirical and is meant for entertainment purposes only. Any similarities between any real people, places, or events is purely coincidental. If you are offended by any of the material contained herein, you may want to reevaluate the way that you treat people as a whole. Content may not be suitable for people under the age of 18.
If you don’t belong to Twitter, I highly recommend it (and let’s follow each other!) — for this week’s “Ask and Author,” I asked for folks in Twitter’s Writing Community to submit fictitious problems and names for yours truly to give advice on; the Writing Community delivered! Make sure you check out the other authors who have submitted their questions and show them a little bit of love!
Continue reading “Ask An Author (With A.P. Miller) – Volume 4”
[DISCLAIMER]: The following blog post is a satire meant for entertainment purposes only — any similarities to any person, place, or event is pure coincidental.
Of course I want to be a Pulitzer Prize winning, best selling author, but sometimes wordsmiths need to branch out and see what kind of writing is best fitting for them. For me, I’m moonlighting — I don’t think I’m ever going to make a career out of being an advice columnist, but who knows? Honestly, I think you should be more concerned with the people who think that I dispense good advice instead of why I think I should be doling it out. While you are on that quest, I’m going to try and change a few lives!* Continue reading “Ask An Author (With A.P. Miller) – Volume 2”
True story: My mother, God rest her soul, spent the summer of 1996 in a near state of agony. On my first day of 6th grade, she tied balloons to her vehicle and followed the bus a few miles to drive the point home: she was glad that school started. Please allow this to be a cautionary tale — don’t do what my mom did, your children will hold it against you until both of you are long gone from Planet Earth. Continue reading “Onward To Victory – Words For the Upcoming School Year”