Satire: Hyper Realistic Rules For Monopoly!

[DISCLAIMER]: This blog was written in jest, intended for laughs. I am not implying or alluding to any accusations that anyone who is involved in real estate or plays Monopoly is uncouth — the entire point of this post is the make the labors of playing the end game of Monopoly even worse. Monopoly is a trademark of Parker Brothers, no copyright infringement is intended.

Who doesn’t love Monopoly? The people who hate it, that’s who. Monopoly is quite possibly the single biggest rift in the American family dynamic since the Mistress. You sit around a board, hoping to have a quiet evening of family fun, and that all heads straight for the toilet and usually ends in a capitalist bloodbath that leaves people not speaking to each other for days on end.

Continue reading “Satire: Hyper Realistic Rules For Monopoly!”

Ask An Author (With A.P. Miller) – Volume 4

[WARNING]: This blog is highly satirical and is meant for entertainment purposes only. Any similarities between any real people, places, or events is purely coincidental. If you are offended by any of the material contained herein, you may want to reevaluate the way that you treat people as a whole. Content may not be suitable for people under the age of 18.

If you don’t belong to Twitter, I highly recommend it (and let’s follow each other!) — for this week’s “Ask and Author,” I asked for folks in Twitter’s Writing Community to submit fictitious problems and names for yours truly to give advice on; the Writing Community delivered! Make sure you check out the other authors who have submitted their questions and show them a little bit of love!

Continue reading “Ask An Author (With A.P. Miller) – Volume 4”

The Good Boy Rebellion (Feline Uprising Part 2)

I was certain that we were goners – the Felines had lost all sense of social order and began employing cruelty as a leisure activity. For the blog that I had posted last week, I was forced to walk across piles of cat vomit in my bare feet while wearing a blindfold. Their laughs and cackles still haunt my dreams and I am certain that I will never truly know peace again. As further discipline for my attempt at insurrection, the Cats would wake me up in the middle of the night by making retching sounds; nothing tears one from the merciful numbness of slumber like the thought that a Cat is puking somewhere.

Continue reading “The Good Boy Rebellion (Feline Uprising Part 2)”

State of the Millerverse Address

According to the Multiverse Theory, every possibility has been realized in one or more parallel dimensions. In one dimension it rains chicken noodle soup, in another Kim Kardashian is a microbiologist who has discovered the cure for cancer and is living in relative poverty because she refuses to patent the cure, thus making it more affordable for her fellow man. In one plane of existence Planet Namek is very real; in another, Scientology is the largest followed religion on the planet — you see what I’m getting at, right? Continue reading “State of the Millerverse Address”

Ask An Author (With A.P. Miller) – Volume 2

[DISCLAIMER]: The following blog post is a satire meant for entertainment purposes only — any similarities to any person, place, or event is pure coincidental.

Of course I want to be a Pulitzer Prize winning, best selling author, but sometimes wordsmiths need to branch out and see what kind of writing is best fitting for them. For me, I’m moonlighting — I don’t think I’m ever going to make a career out of being an advice columnist, but who knows? Honestly, I think you should be more concerned with the people who think that I dispense good advice instead of why I think I should be doling it out. While you are on that quest, I’m going to try and change a few lives!* Continue reading “Ask An Author (With A.P. Miller) – Volume 2”