The Good Boy Rebellion (Feline Uprising Part 2)

I was certain that we were goners – the Felines had lost all sense of social order and began employing cruelty as a leisure activity. For the blog that I had posted last week, I was forced to walk across piles of cat vomit in my bare feet while wearing a blindfold. Their laughs and cackles still haunt my dreams and I am certain that I will never truly know peace again. As further discipline for my attempt at insurrection, the Cats would wake me up in the middle of the night by making retching sounds; nothing tears one from the merciful numbness of slumber like the thought that a Cat is puking somewhere.

Continue reading “The Good Boy Rebellion (Feline Uprising Part 2)”

State of the Millerverse Address

According to the Multiverse Theory, every possibility has been realized in one or more parallel dimensions. In one dimension it rains chicken noodle soup, in another Kim Kardashian is a microbiologist who has discovered the cure for cancer and is living in relative poverty because she refuses to patent the cure, thus making it more affordable for her fellow man. In one plane of existence Planet Namek is very real; in another, Scientology is the largest followed religion on the planet — you see what I’m getting at, right? Continue reading “State of the Millerverse Address”

Ask An Author (With A.P. Miller) – Volume 2

[DISCLAIMER]: The following blog post is a satire meant for entertainment purposes only — any similarities to any person, place, or event is pure coincidental.

Of course I want to be a Pulitzer Prize winning, best selling author, but sometimes wordsmiths need to branch out and see what kind of writing is best fitting for them. For me, I’m moonlighting — I don’t think I’m ever going to make a career out of being an advice columnist, but who knows? Honestly, I think you should be more concerned with the people who think that I dispense good advice instead of why I think I should be doling it out. While you are on that quest, I’m going to try and change a few lives!* Continue reading “Ask An Author (With A.P. Miller) – Volume 2”

Well I Guess This is Growing Up.

Getting old sucks. There was a day and time in my life where I would like my wild opinions and venomous words run roughshod and the consequences be damned. As I’m lying awake last night, letting my anxiety use my waking hours as a playground, I come to realize that those days are over for me. Forever. Continue reading “Well I Guess This is Growing Up.”