[WARNING]: The following blog is a SATIRE that is designed to entertain and invoke laughter, but may be deemed offensive by some folks. If you are easily offended or have strong opinions that you defend violently, please move along from this post. I’d rather us be friends next week than you be mad at me this week and we never speak again.
If there had been a lawsuit filed by someone who took my advice column seriously, I wouldn’t be able to talk about it. Just like I wouldn’t be able to tell you that such a person got laughed out of the courtroom, and I wouldn’t be able to tell you that their significant other had been winning the “pants off dance off” with everyone other than the Complaintant. Those are details that I have to keep to myself.
Continue reading “Ask an Author (W/ A.P. Miller) – Volume 5” →
Even as a grown man, there is no name that sends the needles of dread traversing up my spine more than “Sylvia.” I’ve never seen her, but I am painfully aware of her — I know people who have claimed to have seen her, but never for myself. I consider myself fortunate to that degree.
To those who know of Sylvia, you know exactly where I mean when I say “Janesville Mountain.” To those unfamiliar with the cluster of sleepy mountain villages that I called home, picture a secluded road along a mountain pass obscured in shadow — it’s one hundred miles through pine trees and thin air from Pittsburgh, more than two hundred from the Philadelphia direction. It’s the kind of road that you hold your breath when you drive on it, that you turn up your radio when the sun is setting, and you opt for the extra length of the Interstate when night falls.
Continue reading “Story Time: Sylvia” →
I don’t necessarily look forward to Saturdays — I really like my day job and the people I work with, so …c’est la vie. What I do enjoy about Saturdays is that I will typically have an entire day to create and hopefully type towards my ultimate goal of being a Pulitzer Prize Winning, New York Times Best Selling Author. I still work towards my word count during the weekday evenings (and even holidays), but Saturday is mine to do with what I like. To celebrate such a day, I’ve decided to break down what tomorrow will look like for me. Continue reading “A Saturday in the Life of A.P. Miller” →